The Next Superman
by mandy8o8
Summary: I finished watching 'Superman Returns' again and I was inspired. NOT A CROSSOVER. One shot-ish thing. Suppose to be funny. Enjoy!


**_The Next Superman?_**

Annabeth and I just finished helping my mom with her 'crisis.' So after we were done helping my mom chose a sofa, (She didn't let me do it over IMing because she said I had to 'feel' them) we were walking down the street to my car, when we heard sirens wailing.

"Let's go check it out." Annabeth took my hand and ran up to the blurring lights.

"Let go of the Gatling gun." An officer shouted in a megaphone.

"Oh yeah, whose going to stop me?" The robber responded. "Let's see, who's going to die first, how about you with the gum." He did a little evil laughed, and aimed the gun."

"Oh crap, he'll die for sure." Annabeth said.

"Why did you have to say that," I groaned, "now I have an idea."

"Don't tell me you're actually considering going out there."

"Be right back," I told her as I dash forward.

"Wait, no, Percy!" But it was too late, I had already left.

I had made it in front of the officer just in time for the first shot. It hit me in the arm. After a while, he ran out of bullets. I was relived, but just as I opened my eyes, I saw a bullet come strait at me. It was all to fast; even my ADHD couldn't help me flinch in time. It hit me strait in the eye.

"Ouch, what the hell, I'm not Superman you know."

"Then who are you kid?" The robber yelled as he was being handcuffed.

Then someone yell, "It's Superman's son!" Not soon after, big vans came, and news reporters came running at me.

I heard Annabeth's voice. "Come on Seaweed Brain! They're coming." That broke me out of my trance. I started sprinting to my car.

"You got your hat?" I asked as I hopped in the car.

"No, I left it on my bed."

"Well then hang on." I said as I stepped my foot on the gas.

I thought we were doing well, but apparently, I could've gone faster.

The reporters were asking hundreds of questions, but one of them stood out the most. 'Are you two on a date?'

My face turned red and I pushed my car to its limits. After a few minutes, we were back at camp. It was about midnight, so we decided to just go to bed.

* * *

**The next day…**

I was heading the arena when Annabeth told me Chiron wanted all Olympian cabin leaders in the big house.

**In the Big House…**

I have called you all here to discuss this." He threw a news paper on the table.

All I could read from it was my name. "Oh, no." I realized what it meant. "How did I make it on the front page? This is just sad. The world doesn't have any better news than this."

"What is it?" Annabeth grabbed the news paper. "Oh my gods. Wow, people work fast."

"What does it say?" Beckondorf grabbed the paper. "I can't read this."

"Ahem, may I?" Grover spoke up.

Beckendorf handed it to him.

"Let's see." Grover said taking the news paper. "Oh, this is a good picture of you Percy."

"I know right." Silena said looking over his shoulder.

"The lighting really compliments his completion."

"Did you ever notice that-"

"Can we just get on with it please?" Clarisse yelled.

"Okay, don't need to be so harsh." Grover said.

Clarisse glared at him.

"Ahem, '_The Next Superman_'_ Resident Perseus (Percy) Jackson jumped in front of jumped in front of a gatling gun to protect officer Shuck Norris from certain death._" He paused for a moment, and then looked up at me. "Oh Percy you didn't."

"Yeah he did. See Percy, I told you not to go." Annabeth told me.

"Well, what was I supposed to do? He was about to die!" I reasoned.

Travis and Conner burst out laughing. "Wow, what a story? Hey Percy, did he pull out a gun and shoot your eye?" Travis asked gasping for air.

"Actually, it says here that he did." Grover pointed to the paper. This time, everyone started laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, just get on with it." I was turning red.

After about ten minutes, everyone stared to calm down, and Grover continued reading. "_Amazingly, all the bullets seem to just ricochet off his body. After all the bullets were fired, the robber pulled out a gun, and fired it into his eye. The kid yelled '_Ouch, what the hell, I'm not superman you know._' Many suggested superman's son, but we are not sure. What do you think? Is he Superman's son, or was it just a lucky coincidence? If you see the kid, or the girl who are in the picture above that was taken last night (Reporters are saying she was his girlfriend, and that they were on a date.) please contact us at _. _Or call _911-SUPER-MAN_" _Grover finished.

_**(AN: Please be aware that this number does not exist, for it has too many numbers.)**_

Everyone looked from me to Annabeth.

"We weren't on a date!" Annabeth shouted getting red. I knew I was too.

There was an awkward silence, so I turned to Chiron. "So, what are we going to do about this?" I asked him.

"The answer is simple. We use the mist." He replied.

"Wait, if you already knew what to do, then why did you call a meeting?" Annabeth asked.

"I called you here to tell you to never do something like that, something so…" He paused as if searching for the right word. "Um, what's the word?"

"Stupid." Annabeth suggested.

"Dimwitted." Grover said.

"Brainless." Beckendorf added.

"Dense." Silena claimed.

"Idiotic." Katie mentioned.

"Dumb." Clarisse reported.

"Foolish." Michael Yew put forth.

"Insane." Caster expressed.

"Dull." Pollux stated.

"Mindless." Travis declared.

Everyone looked at Conner expectantly. There was a short pause, but he finally gave in. "Oh fine." He pulled out a thesaurus, and flipped some pages. "Dazed, deficient, dim, doltish, dopey, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, ill-advised, imbecilic, indiscreet, insensate, ludicrous, meaningless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, out to lunch, pointless, puerile, rash, senseless, shortsighted, simple, simpleminded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupefied, thick-headed, trivial, unintelligent, unthinking-"

"Are you done?" I interrupted.

"Almost," he replied, "and witless."

Everybody looked back at Chiron, who wasn't even paying attention. "Stupid! Yes that's the word!" He finally exclaimed. "You may all go now."

All of us got up and got out with out saying a word.

Well, except for Conner. "Aw, man, what a waste of time, a bootless errand, a fool's errand, a lost cause, a merry chase, a red herring, a snipe hunt, a vain attempt, wasted effort, wasted labor."

Travis smacked him on the back of his head and said, "Shut up, be quiet, be silent, stop talking, keep your trap shut, don't annoy Travis. See where I'm getting at bro?"

"You forgot hush." Conner mumbled.

"Why you little-" Conner ran, and Travis was close behind.

* * *

**That Afternoon…**

My mom told me that she found another sofa so I went to my mom's place, but as I was going I notice people pointing at me and whispering. I was very curious so I hurriedly picked a sofa for my mom and headed back to camp.

"Hey Chiron," I asked him once I got back. "What exactly did you manipulate the mist to?"

"Oh, people now think that you tried to suicide by jumping in front of the gun, but the office pushed you and himself out of the way." He said casually.

"What?" I exclaimed. "Now people think I'm mental."

"Well I didn't know what to do, and Clarisse suggested that idea and I just went with it."

I wanted to say something, but it was too mean. It would have got me dish duty for a week. So, just as Conner, still running from Travis, ran by, I grabbed his thesaurus, flipped some pages and yell, "FIDDLESTICKS!"


End file.
